“I’m not lesbian; I’m not bisexual; I’m not straight. I’m just curious.” – Alice Walker
Today, in America, we have a fluid concept of sexual identity in many respects.
Almost twenty years ago my book, ‘Transsexuals-Life From Both Sides,” was groundbreaking. When I appeared on many TV talk shows the issue was either unknown or ridiculed. Today there is a better attitude as people have been educated.
People today have a wide range of choices in many areas including sexual preferences.
The ability to experiment and try a variety of behaviors is more available and opportunities are at your finger-tips. The Internet has certainly changed the manner in which people are able to meet and become involved with one another.
It is not just young people either. There are sites for older men and women to engage with one another in all sorts of ways. If you just want a friend that is out there. If you just want sex with someone who lives close by, that is also available. Whatever your preference is sexually, you can bet there is a place for you to find a like- minded individual, or group.
While much of this remains private and known only to you, some people, or couples, discuss their likes with one another and they either agree and accept the partner’s desires or reject them.
It is still not easy for individuals to share the fact that they are gay, bisexual, transgender, or whatever else, with family or friends, or the world.
We still have judgments from a lot of places. We still have not changed society to automatically be open and loving.
There are still people who think they can change you if you are not conforming to the norm or majority.
Young people today are exploring their sexual identity in many ways. Some of it may indeed just be temporary. Some of it may not be.
When it comes to that most important of all drives; sex, we are driven to search for satisfaction. Hopefully, in the end, it will include love; but not always for some.
All of the intricacies of how you look, what name you use, what pronoun is assigned to you, do not happen easily or quickly, or without drama and pain.
When famous people come out as gay or whatever, they can often help others. It’s sort of, If they can do it, so can I.
Millennials are marrying later and their divorce rate is down. Having experience before marriage helps.
Marriage itself is different. The rates of both men and women not wanting to stay in an unhappy relationship has caused many to try different sexual activities. Many have affairs. Some tell or have their partners approval. Often variety helps a relationship that has dulled over time.
There are groups like the Skirt Club that has 7000 members worldwide and are in places like New York and L.A.
These groups are composed mainly of professional married women who come together for same sex adventures for a night.
Like I said, you can find ANYTHING today, at your finger-tips.
In 2010 only, 51 percent of adults were married.
It is no longer the same old story. Women have been shown to have a sex drive equal to men. The bonobos, pigmy chimps, are closest to our DNA.
They are matriarchal, and the women are the ones demanding sex, all the time with any mate, both males and females! They are also one of, if not the most, non-aggressive group of primates. Is there a lesson here?
However, in our society anything outside the norm, whether hypocritical or not, is seen as, immoral.
Many are left with fantasies, and secret lives as a result. It’s the behavior that counts!
Being accepted and happy when you are different is still a road less travelled. Where are the pioneers and examples of courage?
“Love has no gender- compassion has no religion-character has no race.” – Abhijit Naskars
Are you, or do you know someone who is different sexually? How do you deal with that?