“Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.” – Helen Gurley Brown
Right. Many people are not happy and it is true money won’t do it BUT, it will allow you to substitute happiness from other sources…. and that in the end, could make you happy.
Happiness is a relative term and it certainly is not a given or static. It comes and goes and is different for all of us.
If you were asked, what gives you your most pleasure? My hunch is it would not be money or things. Most individual pleasure comes from relationships and after decades of counseling people I know that to be true. That’s the reason for this whole exercise; writing a book to help people achieve good relationships and thereby be happier.
In 2015, 38% of married women earned more than their husbands. By now that figure has risen quite a bit.
Now, it is also true many women are not paid as they should be and often are paid less than men in similar or the same job. Unfair! This is getting attention and hopefully changed in time.
The old adage about the Golden Rule; He who has the gold rules, is still pretty much true. If you bring in the money you get to decide how it is spent or used.
That was formerly the domain of men; husbands and fathers. Today the pendulum is swinging.
It has caused a number of significant issues in the relationship between men and women both in and out of the bedroom.
There can be a variety of responses emotionally to the whole issue.
Women may become bossy and want to be in charge.
Men may be angry and try to assert themselves in other ways. They may feel emasculated.
Woman may be demanding and irrational in expectations.
Women may be downright tired. They still do most of the housework.
Who bears the real responsibility with children?
Partners can feel ashamed of the roles they now play. They may not tell the truth about it all to neighbors, friends, or
Women may feel guilty about their situation or resentful. Men can feel left out of their wives’ lives.
What then happens to love? Sex?
Quite a lot, and it depends on a number of factors.
What were the reasons for the partnership to begin with? How was caring, and love displayed? Was there mutual respect? Can they find reasons to admire one another besides the wage thing? Is the situation temporary?
It doesn’t matter; if they have that bond as tight as steel. Maybe he is creative and can’t earn a lot. Maybe she is better at things that he can admire.
If they don’t make it a big deal the pair can have a loving, sexy, long time together.
If not, divorce may be likely.
It depends on your values and how you see a man’s or woman’s role.
If they come together to decide how the money is spent that can be an equalizer. If not…. problem!
Whoever holds the power in the relationship may or may not be related to who brings in the most money. Sometimes money is there from family and no work is needed. That can be both a blessing as well as a handicap causing a lack of ambition. In truth there are some people who are just plain lazy. And there are people who for one reason or another cannot work; alcoholics, drug addicts, mentally ill, and physically ill people cannot be good wage earners usually. Some just have down times.
There may be gamblers, illegal means, or risk takers; again, who tolerates what is the question.
We all need money to live the lifestyle we choose. It is unique for each of us. How we get it is the question.
Today many families have two wage earners and the way they negotiate the time and money tells the story about how they really feel about and relate to one another. None of it matters if it suits them and works for the relationship. If you want to see the truth out there look at the checkbook!!
“There are people who have money and people who are rich.” – Coco Chanel
What do you think about a woman earning more money than a man? Would you like that in your relationship? Why or why not?