“The basic problem is that our civilization, which is a civilization of machines, can teach man everything except how to be a man.” – Andre’ Malraux
So what makes a man a man? What do we mean by masculinity? How do boys learn to become men?
The theory is that fathers teach sons what it means to be a man. That is not always a good lesson. Many fathers are not comfortable in their maleness. Many abuse the privilege. Many in fact do just that, abuse.
Now, Judge Ruth Bader Ginsburg, not withstanding, women can do much that men can do BUT they are NOT men!!
After having worked with transgendered people for decades and writing a book about that issue, I have a few ideas about all of this.
What you are is determined by your brain, not necessarily by your body and your genitalia.
There are examples of women being like men and men being like traditional women. We all know what we have been taught is the norm for both of these. While the determinants have changed over the centuries we still have rather defined criteria of what a man should be and likewise what a woman should exemplify.
To be a real man means you are strong, independent, and able to get IT up!
When it comes to relationships between the sexes there is a wide variety of behaviors.
Men usually take the lead.
The female can tease, taunt, and tantalize but it is the male who makes the moves.
He has anticipation and can learn how to relax and enjoy the sexual act through giving of himself.
Since his organs work differently than a woman’s he often has problems with knowing how to slow down and be versatile in foreplay and bringing her to orgasm.
With a loving relationship there should be discussion about what each one likes and what is not pleasurable.
Many people are shy about sex and that’s okay. Not everything is for everybody. Whatever feels good is fine.
We set standards that are often unreal for many people; like the simultaneous orgasm. Who cares?
Are you having sex, or making love? That is the real question.
As people age, especially men, sex can become an aspect fraught with fear. All men experience ‘failure’ at some point and this can set the stage for future disappointment; for both parties.
I had a client who complained that it took too long for her to masturbate him to orgasm and all she kept thinking was, This is taking too long, I am getting tired, and when will it be over? Men can have orgasms and ejaculate without erections.
Another client complained that she had to drink a lot of wine before she was able to even get into the mood.
Men on the other hand, usually have a more immediate response. A young female told me All he did was make a deposit and roll over. He was a selfish lover and cared nothing about pleasuring her.
Interestingly, there is a theory that the tongue is mightier than the penis. It is the only muscle not attached at both ends. It can touch, taste, and lick!
If a male is educated about how to perform cunnilingus it can be rewarding for both his partner and himself. It takes education and practice. It also relieves him of fatigue and premature ejaculation if done correctly. Her orgasm through this method is said to be better than penile penetration.
The penis, by the way, is a miracle body part…
The length is not really important as most people believe. It is the width that makes the case. The clitoris is not deep inside the vagina either.
The female clitoris is there to be stroked in a wide variety of forms. It usually takes fifteen minutes or so to achieve orgasm with the right moves.
The skin is our largest sexual organ. Touching any body part that one likes, kissing, massaging and all that, will be a part of good love-making. There is never a rush to great sex.
Rhythm is not just good in music!!
In the end macho can be just putty in her hands… literally!
“Man is a brute, only more intelligent than the other brutes, a blind prey to impulses… victim to endless illusions, which make his mental existence a burden, and fills his life with barren toil and trouble.” – H. G. Wells
What is your definition of a real man? Have you experiences great sex? What made it so?