“Love has been in perpetual strife with monogamy.” – Ellen Key
This is not a new issue.
The Chinese and Indian cultures have been around for about 7000 years.
The Jews are here for around 5000 years.
The Mayans about 4000,
The Romans about 2500.
All have had relations between males and females governed by rules.
The rules included being together for periods of time, raising children, and dealing with disintegration of relationships.
To be sure they have all evolved and changed and the roles have moved in a variety of directions.
Humans started out as polygamous and the transition to monogamy began about 0. 5 million to 2 million years ago. We are still in transition I believe.
The reasons for monogamy strongly include the care of the vulnerable infant. Two parents can do a better job as opposed to one parent handling it all. This is a strong reason for males remaining with their partner. They also want to be sure of their paternity. The drive to have the species continue is strong and the ‘best specimens’ are selected.
There are other reasons as well.
The need for resources and protection is important in many cases.
Societies need order and partners want to make good investments.
So, if we look at all the species inhabiting planet earth what do we find?
First of all we know that ninety percent of birds are monogamous. Some are monogamous only for mating and rearing of the young.
There are some that do mate for life. These include: Swans, Eagles, some Owls, some Parrots, Albatrosses, Doves, and some think that Pigeons may not choose another mate if theirs dies!
Most fish are not monogamous.
Now when it comes to mammals guess what? Only three percent are monogamous!!
That’s a message.
These include; some species of Wolves, some species of Fox, and some Apes like the Gibbon.
The Prairie Vole is most interesting as he mates for life and will go to the extreme by fighting off any female that approaches him.
Try that on your guy!!
With we humans living longer and females being independent the task for being monogamous
for life is a rough journey.
It is true many do love and enjoy being together for life and have figured out how to do that well.
But for very many serial monogamy seems to be the case. For others a fling may suffice.
If you want children, it is usually a good idea to have a partner that is loyal and caring and helpful in providing and looking after the child’s and your welfare.
Without children or when they are on their own it is easier for a male to be promiscuous. He has less usually to lose. However today that may be in the flux of change as women are the breadwinners in many households.
Attractiveness is a lifelong issue for both males and females.
One fact that was surprising to learn is that when competition for females is strong for the male his testicles and fertility increase. How about that!
When conflicts occur it usually is around the tradeoffs of investment and /or attractiveness.
We all yearn to love and be loved. How to get there and for how long are questions for every individual since the beginning of time.
Passion and the continuation of the species forces us to CONNECT!
“God, for two people to be able to live together for the rest of their lives is almost unnatural.” – Jane Fonda
Are you monogamous? For how long? Do you think that’s a good way to live?