“When we hate our enemies, we give them power over us—power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if they surmised that they worry and lacerate us. Our hatred is not hurting them at all; it only turns our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil.” – Unknown
There is no truer statement. But being human we do at times hate.
We are subjected to others who may do or say things that hurt us. Often it can be rather innocuous or in the form of a joke or sarcastic remark. Sometimes it takes the form of overt or subtle competition. It can be from anyone or over any issue.
While copying you in any form is said to be a form of flattery not everyone enjoys that form of praise.
Since we all have different tolerance levels what may rub off one person’s back may be a mortal wound to another.
When hate is on a larger scale and people act it out in violent manners that is another story.
On a grander scale we have many problems in America and while homicide and violent crime is way down some statistics are rather interesting. This is especially true in today’s climate of anti-immigration in some circles.
From a ten-year study of averages up to about 2014 there are interesting results.
Number of Americans killed annually by:
Islamic jihadist immigrants……….. 2
Far right-wing terrorists……………5
All Islamic jihadist terrorists and US citizens…9
Being hit by a bus…………………264
Falling out of bed…………………737
Being shot by another American……11,737
What does this say about our country and its’ values? What does our government do about any of it?
So, we go from a slap in the face verbally to actual killing. All in the name of human relationships and how we deal with one another.
Now on an individual case and a relationship problem, it can also be a slap in the face or a killing.
Just look at the news! There is always someone being hurt or killed and more often
than not it is involving a close family member or love partner.
How many cases have I counseled where, usually a female partner, talks about an abusive situation? Often the male has been drinking or taking drugs, but not always.
Sometimes it goes on for years.
Whenever I hear these stories and the female tells me how apologetic her partner is later and how he says it will never happen again, I warn her; it will!
If someone needs to be in control and you are not, you will be taken advantage of. Lately our news is full of stories about powerful men doing just that with subordinates. Often it is sexual in nature.
But that can also be in intimate relationships at home.
Why would anyone put up with that?
Lots of reasons. Not counting the newsmakers who want to get ahead in a career, there are a plethora of reasons why.
We do not have to go over the list; you know it.
The natural reaction to any sort of slap in the face, is revenge. That too can take many forms; subtle or overt.
In this life there are victims and people who are brutes. They seem to find one another.
Just being ‘nasty’ can suffice to get the hurt or anger out. Learning how to deal with it without physical resorts should be taught in schools. Hit the pillow!
Women have changed and that is helping all of this. This generation of men and women may indeed relate in more positive ways and still keep flirtation and all that goes into a relationship more positive.
“Violence is counter-productive and produces changes of a sort you don’t want. It is a very dangerous instrument and can destroy those who wield it.” – John Gardner
Have you ever resorted to violence of any sort? Have you ever been a ‘victim’ of any form of abuse? What did you do about it?