“Many men admire strong women, but they do not love them.” – Elsa Schiaparelli
So, what’s this all about?
Women being ‘strong’ is not a new concept, and what does strong mean?
As far as physical or brute strength men are the stronger.
As far as intellect or accomplishment they have become more equal and the feminist movement of decades ago certainly did help that; especially with women’s educational opportunities.
But today women are not in the lead with power and money in the workplace, for any number of reasons.
The real differences are evident in the relationships women have with men both in and out of bed.
They are not just needing a man in their lives although most prefer that. They still dress for men and wait for the phone to ring or the text message to occur.
Women are more assertive today in all areas of relating to men. There is a difference between assertive and aggressive, however.
The difference as I see it is one of politeness. It gives room for the ‘other’ to respond and engage. There are ways to ask for what you want as a female. How about, ’I would like it if you would…’ As opposed to a demand. That makes men run the other way or give up. Women also do not need to have men being aggressive with them. Just look at the news lately about sexual conduct.
The roles of female and male are still basically the same and no amount of feminism will ever change that. We are just DIFFERENT!
I recently had a couple come for counseling and one of his biggest complaints about her was she was too assertive.
When I asked for an example he gave an interesting story.
They were out driving and at a stop light she saw an attractive man about forty. She has a daughter who is divorced in her thirties.
Her husband said she pulled up close to the other car and asked if he was single. He replied he was. Then she asked his religion, and it was the answer she wanted. She then said she had a single daughter and pulled out a card and wrote the daughter’s name and phone number on it and reached over and gave it to the other driver.
Her husband was shocked and embarrassed and not happy. He said she is just too ‘pushy,’ especially with him.
While we have to take advantage of our opportunities we all have to decide when to reach out and when to restrain ourselves.
Men still like to take the lead and they like the role of being the one to make the first move even if it means rejection. They like taking the ‘strong’ man approach to protecting a woman and being the thruster in bed.
Woman can and have learned how to be satisfied in bed and teach their partners what they desire without being overbearing. Men do not want to be intimidated or rated in the bedroom.
Masculinity needs to be all male in its’ basic sense. Stereotypes are there for a reason for centuries.
Different cultures have ideas that may not mesh with today’s American woman; that’s fine in some cases but awful in others.
Free choice and connecting out of passion and love makes relationships that are what they should be; no matter for how long. Serial monogamy is the wave of the future I believe.
A recent book; Sex Matters by Mona Charen talks about all of this in a clear sensible way.
Her theories include the fact that feminists have dismantled courtship and the dating culture. They have made men the enemy. They have created a war between the sexes.
And the bottom line is that they are not happier at work, or at home.
This is the pity of it all.
Men are fearful of showing they are interested, attracted, flirtatious, or wanting to be close to a woman. Lawyers have certainly helped fan that fire!
Women still like to dress so that men notice them, but they are on guard about where or how a relationship should be carried out.
Who makes the first move? How? Where then?
All not easy today.
For my money women should be soft and loving and men should be more assertive and interested. That is nature, damn it!!
“The major concrete achievement of the women’s movement in the 1970’s was the Dutch treat.” – Nora Ephron
Do you think the women’s movement is a good thing? Why? Do you consider yourself feminine? Masculine?