“There are things that happen in the dark between two people that make everything that happens in the light seem all right.” – Erica Jong
This is true. And it is only true when there is a real connection and an emotional attachment to the person you are having sex with.
You can have great sex without love, to be sure, but you CANNOT have great love without sex!
My old line is that females use sex to get love and guys use love to get sex. Different approaches with different goals.
I don’t care what changes have gone on and what this generation is experiencing some truths are there for ALL time.
If I am not interested in sex and being sensuous or being that bad phrase, a sex symbol, I don’t want to be here.
Women want to be attractive and have bodies that attract men. Men want to be masculine and attract women, and that’s all good.
In order to really connect, and be intimate you need to be a person, but one who can merge, if you will, with another. You have to communicate and share feelings. You have to feel desirable and derive pleasure from your body and his.
Eroticism and passion can wane over time and it takes being able to be curious and responsive to your partner to keep it going.
How many times have I heard couples complain it was the same thing all the time. They only wanted to get the act over with.
Everyone has insecurities and issues about their body and their sexuality. Men more than women have fear of ‘it’ not working. Will ‘it’ go up? Will he be able to satisfy her?
Women because of their anatomy can hide their responses. They however do emit a warm fluid with orgasm and a knowledgeable man knows it. His response is right out there in living color.
When you accept another with all they are and you long to be with them they matter in a special unique way. You give up yourself in a total fashion.
Listen to the sounds of a deep orgasm. It is like nothing else. It is a total letting go.
The reality of maybe losing love is scary and many people cannot get to that point of total lack of control and sharing of themselves completely.
The more attached you are the more you have to risk or lose. You cannot have rapture with any holding back.
To keep excitement, you have to give up control.
You need to experiment with each other sexually.
Females use words for closeness while males use their bodies.
For females’ eroticism is more diffuse. It includes smell, and skin contact and not just the genitals.
It is a mind-body experience.
If there is any negativity it makes the sexual experience difficult. You need a clear positive approach to have it be fully erotic and vital.
Different positions; sixty-nine, where you both have your head, hands and mouths on each other’s genitals is an approach that helps you connect with body parts. Having sex on a plane; the ‘mile high’ club offers diversity and pornography is stimulating for both sexes.
Denying to use one’s body in a fulfilling sexual life is sad.
We have the equipment and it’s ours to use.
Some people are hung up in many areas and that is too bad. Sometimes alcohol or other things can help loosen people up. Sometimes it is just the strong pull to someone that lets you be free.
While the act itself, even with time to build up to the act, does not take a long time the after reaction and longing to repeat it will stand you in good stead. Happy cells are healthy cells.
There is NOTHING like being in love and showing it with your body and being responded to.
There is a power in being irresistible.
Look at history and how sex has overridden reason and all sorts of social barriers. This is not included in rape or when one partner is not a willing participant.
Being serene in a long-term relationship is fine for many but to live with passion is a whole other ball game!! Play Ball!!!
“Sex which has been acclaimed by too many misguided poets as an utopian activity, seldom attains that status in the human race.” – Anita Loos
Are you happy with your sex life? Does it include love?