“She should be beautiful, sexy, intelligent, fun, kind, caring, AND…
A deaf mute who owns a distillery.” – Anonymous
Many men would agree with this definition, and in the past a number of women sort of filled the bill.
Women were there to serve their men. They did not have educations or careers and were in a sense totally dependent on their husbands. The ways in which they earned their keep was to do for him.
They cleaned, cooked, and had their children.
Keeping him happy was the goal.
Is this still true today?
Let’s look at it.
While many women work and raise children at the same time they have become independent and do not need a man to support them or give them a place in society. HOWEVER, the old traditional roles still hold water even in the best-case scenario.
What do women and wives need from a man these days?
Maybe the same old stuff… and it is attached to a penis!
Yes, sex, is an important part of a marriage or relationship. Maybe that’s all some modern women need from their guy. Of course, they can buy vibrators and dispense with a man altogether if they so desire.
What do men want from a wife today?
Many do want equal partners. They appreciate a wife who is educated and successful and enjoying a career. In fact, today many wives are the primary breadwinners. In many instances the roles that were traditional have been reversed.
What do we think about that? How do families work it all out?
There is no one answer today.
With the advent of birth control women were free to express their sexuality. They learned about how to enjoy their sexuality. With feminism many became demanding in the bedroom. In some cases, this made their men retreat and feel less a man.
For my money the old roles are not there by happenstance; they have been ingrained as a result of our biology and long history. Not everyone agrees with this I know.
By and large the old traditions still hold water.
Maybe some of the behavior has changed, both for good and bad but the basics are the same.
Yes, there is a continuum and there is no one pattern for all but the words, feminine and masculine still mean the same as they always did.
The softening around the edges has occurred and that may be a good thing. The movement too far to the ‘other’ side may not be so good.
Men still want beautiful, caring wives, and women still want strong, successful husbands. These things were not created out of thin air. The attitudes were based on who would make good parents.
There is a book out called, ‘The Fortune Hunters’ which is about the dazzling women and the men they married. The author is Charlotte Hays.
She gives the histories of many famous women and what they did to rope in their wealthy husbands.
The traits that they had or cultivated were across the board. The lengths they went to in order to become married to these men is amazing.
Included are the Duchess of Windsor, Jackie O, Pamela Harriman, Arianna Huffington, and many more.
True men want a wife who turns them on, and that is first and foremost in most cases. Being a housekeeper and running a home is important for many. Cooking well can help, and so on. BUT it is the care and emotional nurturing of HIM that they really respond to and want. How each wife holds on to her husband over time varies, and many lose their partner to another.
In these cases, he is the primary decider. He rules through his position or money.
There are cases where she finds another man and decides to leave.
I once had a client who was talking about being enthralled with Mayor John Lindsey and would like to be his wife.
When I asked what she had to offer him and what she might do with her life she said, ’I just want to take care of and love him.’
That’s a life for some women but what of their talents and ambitions?
Today many women are not just appendages doing his bidding. They are out there doing their thing and coming home to be a loving wife as well. It is not always easy. The needs of both parties have changed.
So, who is the perfect wife today?
ME, of course!
“My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom. I said I’d hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit.” – Jerry Hall
What is your definition of the perfect wife? Perfect husband? Who has that?