Marriage… The Ultimate Mine Field

“One was never married, and that’s his hell; another is and that’s his plague.” Robert Burton

This marriage business is what I have been doing for decades. There is NOTHING like marriage but marriage!

What is currently taking place in this whole arena is ground breaking and the outcome is unknown. It will take at least a generation to assess it all.

Today we have choices that were never available before. We can meet people in a variety of ways; worldwide. We can have sex with anyone we choose at anytime. We can all be independent and on our own. We are living longer. We are educated and we have a huge number of ‘experts’ telling us their opinions about relationships.

All of this can be for the benefit of marriage. All or some of it may be detrimental. It’s really up to us as individuals to work it out.

As I view it there are a number of choices when it comes to marriage; after you are in it.

The first question is how mature are you and are you ready to be with someone in a marriage? Can you say you only want them in order to love them? If it’s to love you primarily you’re not ready! Closer to thirty may help although years don’t tell the whole story.

The next question is how much experience have you had to know if this someone is the `right’ one for you to commit to? You really need a few deep fairly long term ‘pasts’ to know.

There is no question that what the reality of daily life with another person requires is not easy and often downright unpleasant. That rosy glow that maybe got you there in the first place soon fades.

Being ‘in love’ means different things to each of us; again based on our maturity and experience AND insight.

While sex can be a great driving force and the ‘healer’ of much that isn’t the way we might like it, there is more to this thing called marriage.

Daily routines, the way we live, how we earn money or spend it, having or not having children, social life and so on all impact on a couple. Who makes the decisions? How are ‘hurts’ handled? Who communicates what and how? Is affection part of the package?

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