“How lonely and unnatural man is and how deep and well concealed are his confusions.” – John Cheever
Sex makes the world go around… and thank goodness because it is the primary drive and source of pleasure. It supplies both the mind and body with joy and the wish to keep repeating the experience.
We have all sorts of statistics and research about the subject, for decades. What we don’t have is the ways in which perversion is viewed in a variety of instances and outside the realm of sexuality.
Let me explain.
Anyone who uses people for their own purposes when the person or people are unaware or incapable of being a willing partner may be a pervert.
True, we all ‘use’ people for our own personal needs and purposes but usually it is for a mutually beneficial outcome. We both enjoy the experience or relationship.
Some relationships can be parasitic, sort of like the old-fashioned marriage where the wife ‘took’ what the husband offered; monetarily and otherwise.
In other instances, there are trade-offs; beauty and youth for money, brawn for brain, protection for lack of control or ability and so on. Is any of this perversion? Could be…. depends on the willingness or lack of it by the partner or group of people involved. This is only true if they are able to know what they are involved with.
If an individual cannot see or truly understand the circumstances they are being victimized. Life experience and education are important aspects here.
Just look around this world. How many millions of people are living miserable unhappy lives because of who is in power; mainly politically.
Most of humanity just wants to get by and have a pleasant life for themselves and their loved ones. Most of their time and attention is to survive or live well. And then how many ‘leaders’ have caused wars and conflict and the poor choices they made for their own needs and sacrificed people in the process? Is this perversion? In my book, it is the worst sort of perversion.
Maybe if these decision makers were satisfied emotionally in their own lives and beds the world would be different!
I would require an EQ (emotional quotient) for every politician. Maybe that would help.
At any rate, back to perversion of the sexual nature.
In our world, today the second fastest criminal business in the world, after drugs, is sexual exploitation.
From 600,000 to 800,000 people are involuntarily involved in human trafficking annually!
The estimate is that there are 21 million people in the world in some form of human slavery!! Can you believe that? It is unreal to even think about. There are few countries that escape this.
Poverty and lack of education and ability to survive cause much, if not all of it.
Can it be changed? You bet!
Get rid of the real perverts who cause and allow it to continue.
As a sex educator for decades and therapist I have heard and seen it all.
When kids in school ask, “Am I normal if I….” it’s usually some silly matter. Whatever two or more, people wish to do as consenting adults, is fine. AS we develop and learn we put our experiences to good or better use. We have control over what we do as individuals. The rules set by society should be there to help and protect us. Sometimes they are not working for all of us. Sometimes money changes outcomes and sometimes power rules with a heavy hand.
In the US, there was a recent study that showed hat high school students were having less sex, with fewer partners, and using contraceptives. That’s good information.
By the same token, we can see ‘perverts’ using unsuspecting young people through the Internet for sexual purposes. This is a problem. Kids are lonely, finding themselves, testing their sexuality and so they can be taken advantage of.
We can all have fantasies, especially when it comes to sex. Many can be acted out if we choose and agree with a partner to do …. whatever. That’s’ all fine.
It is when it is one person’s fantasy and the partner is coerced that it is perversion.
The issue is knowledge and control.
By controlling ourselves in the way we desire and by having a ‘voice’ in our shared destiny, we can enjoy a perversion free life together. It would certainly make a better world!
Think about that when you vote!!
“So long as society is founded on injustice, the function of the laws will be to defend injustice. And the more unjust they are the more respectable they will seem. Anatole France