Face It…On Facebook

“Every man ought to be friends with a nun and a whore and while talking with them forget which is which.”  Brendan Francis

Recently I have been on Facebook for the first time ever.

Now you have to understand I know nothing about this Facebook world and what I discovered blew me away.

While technologically ‘retarded’ I thought it a good idea to let the world know about this blog and my book with the same name, on Amazon.

As a result, I went on Facebook.

How people came on a list to be my ‘friend’ is a world I cannot explain but there they were; hundreds of them.

It became a challenge to look at the names, see the faces, read about them, and then decide whether to make them a ‘friend’ or not.

They came from all over the world, men and women and all walks of life.

Deciding who to add on my list was a full-time job. The only criteria was whether or not I believed they would like my blog and book and benefit from it.

Soon I discovered men were flattering me and others were ‘liking’ my work. How nice. It could be almost intoxicating. It could become addicting!

Now, as a therapist I know a bit about people and their motivations. What you cannot know is who is telling the truth.

I began a small research project asking people, mainly young people, about their own experiences on Facebook.

There were a variety of responses both positive and negative. What really became apparent was that you need to be selective about whom you connect with beyond that first exposure.

What really shocked me was how sad and lonely people are and how, as I knew, everyone is looking for emotional connection.

The other thing that truly bewildered me was how many young beautiful females think that exposing their bodies, especially their breasts, many artificial ones I might add, makes them desirable. What does that lead to? Now, let’s think….

The guys show off their muscles and cars.

So, again, my premise has been correct; females use sex to get love and guys use love…and money, to get sex. Does it work in the end?

Well, I have known several couples who met this way and have found love. And I have known several couples who met on dating sites and happily married or got together. This is a whole new world for meeting others.

The trick is what after that initial meeting?

One very wealthy divorcee’ I know met a man she liked through Facebook. Before giving her heart away she put a private detective on him to verify what he had told her about his life and past. It checked out and they are together now for four years.

Another guy met a girl from Sri Lanka and went there and ended up marrying her and he is extremely happy. Go figure! When could that have ever happened before? Answer…. never!

Today I have learned how to ‘delete’ most who are inappropriate and cannot benefit from my work, and I accept others who seem right. Only three people out of thousands have sent comments that I have answered personally. It all takes time and effort. I ‘invite’ people to ‘like’ my page and most do. That is comforting and rewarding.

Face, it; Facebook is what you make of it!

“It takes time and a kind of power in oneself to to know another just as it does to get anywhere in one of the crafts.”  Sherwood Anderson

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