“Lips that taste of tears, they say are the best for kissing.” – Dorothy Parker
You’ve loved him/her with all your heart, (and body), for a long-time… year but the problems have always been there and dealt with.
In the beginning the thrall of love blankets everything. The drive to be together in every way pushes you toward one another. You can’t be apart long or you do just that; long.
Getting rid of love is never easy. The issue or issues keep coming up and guess what; you make excuses, overlook them, talk yourself out of them and the sex drive cures all.
Well, guess again; the problem will NOT go away.
When you ‘sober’ up and face reality you may in fact see, you have a toxic reoccurring unsolvable problem. Yes, the ‘love’ will carry you through a lot of crap, a lot of hurt and a lot of unsatisfied need.
However, and it’s the big however, if the same damn thing keeps upsetting you, you may in fact be in a TOXIC relationship that really is not good or healthy for you in the end.
Realizing it may not make you ready to act. The pull of passion and true caring will carry you along, but just like in ALL relationships, the hurt and either lack of sensitivity or inconsiderateness that cannot be altered will do the thing in… maybe after years.
Why do people stay in such situations? Lots of reasons but the only one that matters is that you CARE.
Caring is the core of life and it doesn’t merely disappear, even with facts in front of your face.
You can call him/her all the names in the world, tell them to go f… themselves, and so on but in the end only you can make the sale to move on.
If you believe you deserve better, you will have to keep reminding yourself about that. The fact of the matter is; YOU DO!!!
Being constantly hurt and upset and communicating it, which is necessary, in any relationship worth its’ salt, maybe doesn’t change things. The pattern may be too well set to be able to be changed.
Holding on to hope won’t do it.
Wishful thinking doesn’t do it.
Being a ‘victim’ is solely your fault. Give it up!!
Face it head on.
Now it is true there is no perfect relationship and no one can exhibit love the way you might like all the time. There are times when you or your partner may need more. There are times when you are both at a ‘bad’ point. It’s all part of the package.
The real bottom line is when the pattern just gets to a point where you want to die, kill them, or know you have to move on; you need to DO something.
The something is to get to NOT CARING! This is not automatic or fast and you will waver, and be tempted to go back or try this or that. All normal. It is work to push the negative constantly into your brain and thoughts. You have to WORK at it.
The fact of the whole business is that you are not alone, and you have probably been through this before and guess what? You survived and most likely lived to tell the story and love again.
Love has a shelf life. After time relationships do change and should.
The really good ones have passion forever.
The ones that are toxic can have that passion fail and change so that you move to what you need; INDIFFERENCE.
You don’t care where they are, who they’re with or what they’re doing.
You don’t look to see if they have texted or called.
You are not tempted to go back and be a ‘used’ person again.
It is their problem now in your eyes. They cannot replace you and will not know the love you offer again. Let them try to replace it. You will find better.
Water always finds its’ level emotionally. Those that have experienced and opened themselves up to love cannot live without it and it will happen. You will be cautious to be sure but that’s okay. Talk and talk more to anyone who you care about or who cares about you.
It is awful to get rid of a relationship that had meaning and yes, real love at some point, but not impossible. Impossible is living without love!!
“Let no one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow.” – J.M. Barrie