“If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.” – Benjamin Franklin
In today’s world where so much is ‘instant’ it seems there are drastic changes in both how couples relate to one another; both in and out of bed. Nothing new here but… everything! Sex is readily available and can happen with total strangers. Go on line and say what you might enjoy sexually and there it is. Love however is a whole different story. You can indeed enjoy sex and fake love.
For some, particularly females, there may need to be a feeling of love; being loved. Is it necessary for good sex? No. Is it necessary maybe to make believe you love your partner or more importantly, that he loves you? Perhaps. It is curious how many couples can engage in a sexual relationship and one or another can tell themselves they are in love with their sexual partner. That’s the head talking, holding the reins.
Sex and even good sex can happen and for many it is easy. They have that relationship and do what they want when they want and love is not discussed or really felt. That’s fine for many young people and fine for learning about sharing their bodies and achieving orgasm, hopefully. BUT, when we talk about love, that’s a whole other story.
Can it be faked like an orgasm? Perhaps. Many people can talk themselves into things and delude themselves. Many view certain gestures or behaviors as signs of love.
Even if it is said; ‘I love you’ can mean different things at different times.
So, how do you know the real McCoy? The real deal happens over time and testing. It includes more than sex but doesn’t exist without it in the manner I am speaking about. There are small gestures, thereare ‘looks’ and there are words.
We live in moments and the moments that matter are those shared with intense intimacy. Waiting and longing for someone only adds to the desire to be together and to share oneself. Touching, gazing, pleasing the partner in small ways makes the wanting to be close a visceral experience. When apart there is an ’emptiness’ inside, and the feeling that you can only be content in your lover’s arms. Does it last forever? Love does… even after death, in the truly loved.