A young man I know recently had a conversation with me and we were discussing difficulties in relationships. At the end of part of our talk he turned and said, “Well, everything is finite.”
In contemplating his early wisdom, I was struck by how right he is.
Everything is so temporary and we as humans really do not take that into consideration as we sleepwalk through life.
It is only as a person comes to the point in life where the days left are so much fewer than the days lived that many even realize it’s really really a short walk.
Now don’t get me wrong, and you know what I think about life and especially love; there is much to rejoice in. But it is in spurts and moments.
We are our worst enemies and we do most of it through a waste of time on nonsense and bad feelings. We can work on it. We can push ourselves to be better. It is up to us and us alone.
The main thing and it’s a biggy is to check our values. I recently heard a Charlie Rose program where he spoke with both Warren Buffett and Bill Gates. What a pleasure. Both of these hugely ‘successful’ men said they value their family and human relationships above all else. This is great news for the majority of we humans who will not be in their league with talent and achievement. It is the core of what brings joy.
It is NOT money, power, fame, or influence.
Interestingly when I read the book about the Dalai Lama he expressed the idea that man’s ultimate goal is to not ‘suffer.’ Think about that. How and why do people ‘suffer?’
What are our goals and desires? How do we go about obtaining them?
Well, my title says it. Most of what we get caught up in is ‘Bullshit.’
What is that you ask?
Well, it’s the not feeling worthy or appreciated the way we want. It’s being envious, or feeling ‘less than’ someone else.
It’s feeling we can’t rise to the occasion.
We fill our lives with anger and hate. We don’t forgive. We want revenge.
We want to be in control and we want our desires met and little or no responsibility for our behavior.
The trick is to have it like a bank account and have ‘emotional currency.’
That means building up a reservoir of good feelings. Good thoughts. Good relations with others. AND… you got it; learning how to truly give love.
When you get ‘outside’ of the YOUNESS you are in another realm and dimension. You are there for the ‘other.’
If the other is a ‘we’ then that can always be built upon. History together will assist but that’s not the whole story. It’s the day in and day out and dealing with all the crap that life is about that needs attention. That’s there and won’t disappear and that’s part of the bullshit but that’s not where the joy will come from.
Transitory, yes, finite, yes, but those moments can be built upon and remembered and become the stuff that makes this life worthwhile.
Behavior has consequences and we have all had our own share of bad behavior. But you can’t buy TIME. It is fleeting and what is gone is over and what you waste today doesn’t come back.
And no, it can’t be all hunky-dory but it can be enough so that at the end you feel you lived fully and well.
There is enough in this life that we cannot control and enough really yucky stuff out there. But if we are able to be loving we can get through all the bullshit and have a ‘successful,’ really ‘successful’ life in the most meaningful of ways.
Recognize bullshit and then move on to AUTHENTIC!!
“Life is a dream, and it is well that it is so, or who could survive some of its experiences?” – Isadora Duncan