“It’s funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and to get rid of them. Women, on the other hand, pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy.” – Hedy Lamare
Independence: Competitive, Accomplished, Opinionated, Rational, Demanding, Mature, Analyzing, Proud, Appropriate, Judgmental
Love: Vulnerable, Compromising, Empathetic, Prurient, Dependent, Silly, Tolerant, Forgiving, Spontaneous, Trusting
Here are some words that describe being an independent woman and being a woman in love. Look at them. They are very different.
What it takes to be a ‘successful’ woman in America, or the world today, is quite different from the qualities a woman in love possesses.
Can one person combine the two aspects? Maybe. It is not an easy task.
You are one person not a divided self. You cannot be one way to the outside world and another at home or with a partner.
In a relationship with a man it is not easily accomplished.
When a man sees you as ‘independent’ and not ‘needy’ he feels you can take care of yourself.
He doesn’t equate your self-reliance differently when it comes to your emotional needs and in fact you may not display much need in these areas.
As a result, he will not be especially kind or loving in many ways. He lets you control the situation. You don’t show or communicate what you might really want from him emotionally. You are not the soft, sweet feminine partner. You can stand alone and do what you want.
Too bad, because the bottom line is most females want to be adored and loved and sexually desired.
Men may benefit in a variety of ways from her independence but not when it comes to wanting to be a MAN, especially when it comes to showing love.
Smart independent woman have learned what they need to do to get ahead in the world. They may attract a man, but then their heads get in the way. They see they may have to survive financial problems, boredom, and they see the guy’s weaknesses and habits they don’t like.
They are aware that if they get really involved it may lead to emotional problems, pain, divorce if they marry, or just personal survival.
Independent women don’t want to risk it.
So, as a result, they are very cautious, and test the partner before getting involved.
They, just like men, don’t want to give their heart away to be hurt. Both deny themselves the ultimate; true love.
Many, similar to men, like the chase, and find relationships exciting in the short term. Having a lasting relationship with love and a working partnership is difficult to say the least. Most people long for close relationships and finding a love for the long term.
Close relationships are always difficult to obtain and take time and effort, and yes, thinking. BUT, at some point the thinking part and control has to give way to what true love demands; vulnerability and a lot of forgiveness. Not easy to come by, and especially for the independent woman.
None of us wants a damaged or broken heart, however, there’s no way around it when you know how to love.
We all have ‘baggage’ and habits that are not ‘wonderful’ to another person. The trick is to be human and accept another and get beyond the things that stand in the way of connection. Communication helps.
If, in the end, you are too much the perfectionist and too picky, and too independent; GET A DOG!!
“I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete.” – Bette Davis